What does it say about you when you work up the courage to streak during a Maria Sharapova tennis match and she turns her back on you.  It's got to be deflating.

Benny the Bull has been charged with misdemeanor battery after allegedly assaulting an off-duty police officer.  According to the police, Benny initially tried to flee the scene, in full mascot attire, before being chased down.  Once the police caught up to the fleet-footed mascot, Benny threw a punch breaking the officer's glasses.

My question - how does the police report read after an incident like this? 

"I pursued the large, red, wooly-like creature down the road, and once I caught him he turned and popped me in the nose."

Give me a break.  

Even better, can you imagine the police lineup?  How do you do that?  Do you have to round up other mascots to try and throw the witnesses off? 

"Let's see it's either the big, green, looking thing with the pinstripe shirt, or the red, hairy thing with the Bulls jersey on."

Truly unbelieva-bull.

Jose Canseco has reportedly asked for a trade from the San Diego Surf Dawgs after playing a grand total of one game.  Canseco's daughter is living with Jose this summer per his child-custody agreement, and it suddenly dawned on Canseco that he might actually have to take care of her.

In a battle for the ages, Japan's champion eater Takeru Kobayashi held off American Joey Chestnut by downing 53 3/4 hot dogs in 12 minutes at the annual hot dog eating contest on New York's Coney Island.

Kobayashi broke his previous record of 53 1/2 hot dogs set back in 2004.

Watch the lunatic public address announcer as he put his own flavor on the event.

By the way, if you happened to glance at this morning's paper you saw that the Rockies are sitting atop the National League West.  Oh sure, they share the lead with the Dodgers and Padres, but we're more than halfway through the season and the Rockies are legitimate contenders. 

The Rockies in first place.  Now I know the sports world has completely lost it's mind.